I still vividly remember some of the best advice I have ever gotten. I was a young adult working at a retail store with a beautiful, at peace , and happily married older woman. She told me one day , “ No matter what , marry the good one.” She told me about her days of bad boys , her years of the wrong one . But that the smartest thing she ever did was to marry the good guy.

You have to fight so many mental demons in order to marry the right guy/gal. You have to fight your instincts to help and fix. You may have a desire to commit to someone you want to help, someone you want to fix. But all you’re asking for is a life long battle. Marry the one who already lives a stable life.

You have to fight the urge to rebel by marrying the bad boy/girl . Sometimes these relationships can feel so extreme and passionate . But only like a bad drug that is just destroying you at the same time.

You have to fight your ego. Your ego is drawn to the ones that treat you badly. This person can’t possibly not be interested ! I’ll do anything and everything it takes to be with them! That’s your toxic ego talking and is looking to try to make you feel down and bad about yourself forever.

You have to fight your desire for the white picket fence. Don’t marry someone just because you’re looking for the white picket fence . Are you madly in love with them? Or are you just in love with the idea ? The idea of being done searching for your American dream. Don’t settle dear, this is how you will spend your one precious life.

So who should you marry? The good one. I’ve known my husband since high school. He was always the good one. He is consistently kind and loving . He is madly in love with me and always listens to what I need . They exist! We have our issues. I’m not going to be dishonest. But ultimately, we are happily married and almost every day I reflect on how lucky I am that I fought all those demons and married the good one. The one who just last night slow danced in the kitchen to old ballroom dances while we waited for dinner to cook. If you don’t have that sweet and good love, keep looking .

Who you choose as your significant other will have a significant impact on your life . My husband has done nothing but hype me up and support me for years . Giving me time to really chase my goals and become my best self . I know that if I had made another choice , my whole life would be different , so don’t take the choice lightly . It’s not just get married, take a chance, get divorced if you want. Those choices will impact who you become as a person, so true to take the time of your blessed with it to be careful and make the right choice . And above all

Marry the good one .